Tuesday, October 25, 2011

broken for a reason....

Sunday was one of the sweetest days yet.
Maybe ever.

At church we sang:
Where, oh death, is your sting?
[and the tears came- overwhelming me at the reminder of death's sting lately...]

-a friend losing a friend [*like Mary]

-miscarrying mamas [*like Audrey]

-mamas losing children! [*like Tanner]

As we sang that one short line, it was as if a finger poked right to my heart, pressing in too hard, puncturing deep.

I couldn't help but weep for my friends and their great great loss.

The very next line...
Swallowed up in victory!
Reminded me of the hope we have in Christ.
All things remdeemed-
even death.

And in that moment I scribbled in my journal,
Oh yeah. 
Because those babies may be lost to us, 
but they're found in You.
They're safe in Your love forever.

Please comfort those mourning moms.
Remind them of your victory.

At the end of service I went up for prayer... 
To give back this burden.
To lift up those who have lost. 

To be moved to action...

All the pray-ers were busy with others,
so I just sat and let the tears flow...

And then Jeremy came and prayed for me. His words and knowledge of my heart were a tender and precious encouragement.

And then a woman (who I do not know) came and humbly sat at my feet, lightly touched my ankle, and prayed in whispers.

I put my hand on hers to thank her for her touch & prayers.

She looked at me with an almost disappointed look and said, "All I've got is 'beauty from ashes' if that means anything to you"... I wanted to respond & tell her how perfectly it resonated, but the floodgates were open again and I just had to let it go a minute.

It truly felt as though God put his finger back to that place that ached and stung during the song and said "There. That place."

[A giant spotlight.]

"Don't miss this. I broke your heart here for a reason. Embrace the brokenness. And go embrace those who are broken. Mourn with those who mourn. I want to give them beauty for ashes."

Later that day, in this sweet spot down the street, I added this story to my journal, and this prayer... Thank you for burdening me with these women's loss. I know it's your compassion and your heart for them at work in me. May I be a faithful steward of this gift.

Thanks for reading, friends.
Not sure what will come of this, but I'm hungry for more direction and action. Please pray for me -that these burdens will bear fruit and prove beneficial.

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