'what not to say to a grieving person' - interview with Chip Judd

Talking about what not to say to a grieving person.
Posted by Seth Farrior on Thursday, December 10, 2015

So full of wisdom & insight. 

Thanks, Chip & Seth!

#letsbeprayers

So here's the little prayer journal project I've been working on!

When I first started this little endeavor, I was trying to make a 365-page journal for myself for 2016... Now I'm praying this project helps many of us sustain a habit of processing life's blessings and struggles through the lens of His love, power, and nearness - for God's Glory and our joy!

Once I realized there was a real journal-praying interest, I knew my google-docs creation just wouldn't cut it, so I reached out to my friend Sarah Faucette. Here's what she had to say about it:

I've been working with @joyseeds on a really special project! She's created an amazing guided prayer journal that I am helping design. I "tested" out a few of the pages and it has already done my heart so much good! #letsbeprayers - @Native State Design Co.

Yay, God!

Here are some links if you want to know more:

joyseeds shop • mailing list • tumblr • #letsbeprayers on insta & fb ♥

Restless study - Jennie Allen

From Jennie Allen's Restless study - 

Every time I want to be mad at God because of suffering, he shows me Jesus.

"I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings." (Philippians 3:10)

And it is true. I have known Jesus most deeply in suffering; he seems to inhabit suffering, and he endured it first. He is not a God unfamiliar with suffering and he is near the brokenhearted. He is near our broken hearts.

So what if the greatest thing you have to give to the world could be hidden in your darkest moments? What if your scars point to a greater story?

Our lives are a breath, and if we are here for just a minute, I'd like my one little breath to feel more like a mighty gust of wind. And that takes surrender. It takes perseverance and not wasting my minutes away on Facebook or on complaining. The apostles walked away from painful persecution, "rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering" (Acts 5:41).

Hear me. Even though it may seem counterintuitive, it is an honor to suffer. It is a privilege. And we are not to waste it. God wrote suffering into our stories and wants to redeem it for his glory. If we stop shaking our fists at him, we could possibly sit down and see we are running from a life in flames toward a great purpose—one that could never exist without the flames.

Joseph was a brat with a vision. And God was preparing him for that purpose. Joseph would save and lead nations, but first he had to learn who this story was about.

When Joseph first had a vision, he thought that vision was for his own glory. When that vision finally came true and his brothers were bowing before him, Joseph said these words:

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Genesis 50:20).

Morning Pages

Rebekah Lyons mentioned this during IF:Gathering

"Morning Pages are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing,
done first thing in the morning. *There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages*–
they are not high art. They are not even “writing.” They are about
anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes
only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and
synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put
three pages of anything on the page…and then do three more pages tomorrow."
-Julia Cameron

I'm in 'til Easter♥

Happy New Year + reading through the bible

flipagram

As this new year begins, the word resounding in my head and heart is HABIT. 

I feel like my reading, thinking, & social habits -or non-habits- are what colored last year most. The past several years I've seen my husband develop the habit of reading through the bible in a year. And I've never had the guts to join in - until now.

This year I hope to develop important habits for important reasons - 

READ to sharpen & renew.

RUN to gain strength & endurance.

EAT to nourish.

WORSHIP to connect.

LOVE to connect & restore.

REST to refuel.

TAKE PHOTOS to celebrate & remember.

celebrate, remember, nourish, refuel, connect, restore, sharpen & renew
yes, those are the things I wish to characterize my years.

a virtuous woman

Love this.

((from an October 2013 post by Carrie Davis, Charleston, SC))

writing.

this year with clubs in the city, I’m a co-leader with our new communications club. we’re calling it Photography & Writing. perfect.

the best part this week was how they bore their hearts through writing. two of our girls really let loose and journaled what was going on in their hearts and lives. that’s it. that is the whole point.

It was an honor to listen to their precious words about what they fear and how they lean into and rely on God. One shared her heart about being kind to her family and loving even those that are unkind. We didn’t tell her to write that-

we asked-

• who/what defines you? 
• do you listen to what the world says or what God says? 
• how does that overflow to others? 
• will you tear others down or can/will you encourage them to listen to what God says is true about them too?

their sweet, honest responses blew me away and put the challenge back on me. who’s words or labels am I listening to and believing?

how does that affect the way I speak to or encourage others?

May we be reminded we are loved and cherished. we have great purpose and value. we don’t have to be defined by our peers or even ourselves, but we can let the one who made us call us good.

No judgement.

Leaning into love means laying aside judgement and giving others the loads of grace I know my own soul requires. It's not always easy; that's why we've got to lean into it.

((this is my neighbor's cute pup. he sat outside with me for a few minutes yesterday♥))

showing up...

This year I came back as teacher to my group of preschoolers who I teacher-assisted with last year. Every day I feel inadequate, a bit overwhelmed, and like I'll never be good enough at this job. But every day day I show up and we're making it. My kiddos are making progress and the feedback I'm receiving from higher-ups isn't terrible. So maybe sometimes leaning into faith looks like showing up and trusting God to provide for the day we're in.

Free.

If grace is so free why do I feel like I need to earn it!?

It's unnatural to just receive and not want to give something back- compliment for compliment, dollar for dollar, an eye for an eye, whatever.

But gifts aren't for paying back. When I give Kayla her birthday present next weekend, I don't expect her to say "Thanks! I love it! Here's your $20 back!"

So sometimes leaning into grace for me means accepting what's being freely given -without feeling guilty or burdened to pay back compliment for compliment, gift for gift, or perfection for grace.

lean.

leaning into faith, love, what's right vs. what feels good -it all still makes us lean and feel off balance or even insecure. sometimes the best thing is the hardest thing. and sometimes in the leaning we fall. and sometimes we don't. and either way our trust usually grows. so today I'll lean in some more.

31 days...

Interesting, and kind of wonderful, that Saturday morning I wrote about my calloused faith and how dull, exhausted, and non-vibrant I'm feeling these days. And then Sunday evening at church our pastor confronts in us a lukewarm spirit (Rev.3:14-20)- as if we've let a haze come over us.

I started to start this 31 day challenge last year, but never really dove in- well, a year has passed and this time I'm in.

The name of the game for me is short and sweet. I'm committing to daily leaning in- not daily writing a novel or shouting anything from the rooftops. It's a heart thing and an outward-acknowledgement thing. I've admitted my dullness of heart, so the only reasonable response is to do something to make sure it doesn't stay that way. So, join me if you will... 31 days of leaning in [if you don't like mine, then fill in your own blank & link to a catagory here] ♥

calloused faith

the busyness has gotten to me.

the lack of time with sisters encouraging me face to face, praying with me, sharpening me- it’s worn me down. I reach for Faith but her skin is hard and dry. 

here in raleigh I have grown and blossomed more than I’d imagined I could. more work, greater partnership, and all the more clinging to the Lord and seeking out all he has in store for us here. in these two short years I’ve found the feet of my faith. they’ve willingly walked in things I would have run from before. they’ve also climbed and strived. and in the striving, especially these past few months, I’ve grown weary. Faith’s vibrance is now dull. She is spent, and too tired to shine. In all her striving she forgot about the source from which her radiance comes. she forgot who she’s here to please. 

man is fickle and picky and demanding. 

The Lord is gracious, gentle and good. 

man wants perfection, proof, and outstanding results. 

The Lord wants me. Just me. a daughter. a friend. a girl in love. 

I am weary because I’ve tried to do it all and be it all. I’ve been performing, striving to please the man, and I am tired. 

Thank you, Father, for this time to rest. I need you. I crave you once again. 

Restore to me the joy of my salvation and renew a right spirit within me.

grad school days…

Architecture grad school... It's a challenging, wonderful life, and I couldn't be more thankful than to be walking with this guy!

We just celebrated three years of marriage (plus a few dating) and I intentionally love him more everyday. Living in Raleigh has been one of the best seasons for me. It's been bonding for us to have to rely so heavily on one another. And it's been a pure catalyst for growth for me personally.

I'm thankful, thankful, thankful- that we have all we need and even some to give/share. I'm thankful that our families are well and not so far away that we can't run home for a quick weekend. I'm thankful for our jobs and health and the friends we are making here. Thankful that school is going well for him and that I'm enjoying PreK! 

Hoping for -my teaching certificate to get pushed through! And for the opportunity to teach to come through for next year. I need courage and grace and so much wisdom with it all.

I always want to be an understanding and joyful wife. I want to give thanks in all things and love others as Christ has loved me. 

Thanks, Lord, for your goodness to us! May we grow to love you more and more!

increasing margins [because we're not the hero]...

when the hairy grad-school-schedule is wearing us down, we increase our margins. we are worker-bees that struggle with this on a regular basis.

we want to work, we want to be productive. we want to do so much that we sometimes find ourselves with zero margins and very little left to give.

so, friday night - dinner & conversation with friends.

and saturday morning - the farmer's market.

precious downtime, how we've missed you!

...................just processing here, but you know what I think the problem is?

I think it's a little hero-complex

like @PastorTyler talks about...

He is the hero. I am the rescued one.

why do I always forget that I don't have to be the hero?

He has already saved the day.
I can rest. I can trust Him.

work is good. even working hard is good.
but when I work like it all depends on me,
something's askew in my heart.
i've forgotten who is the hero 
and who are the rescued ones. 

we get to help because we've been helped,
bless because we've been blessed,
but we don't get to save the day.
that's already been done.

Sharing seasons...

Sweet webinar with Annie Downs (via The Influence Network classes)... (SO GREAT! Loved Annie, loved her teaching, loved the ease of just logging on and listening!)

So through this little class Annie encouraged us to write through these seasons {{the ones we're living- while we're living them}}.. "We can write brave, honest, timely, wise, hope-filled, life-giving words."

She made me want to get writing -in my journal as much as here...

She also made me want to take a minute and define this season [for myself- and for anyone else who may find themselves in a similar space]...

J & I are certainly still transitioning to life in Raleigh. Like stepping into high school for the first time, we are undoubtedly the little-fish-in-a-big-pond all over again. Beach kids to city kids. Over a year ago we left life at comfy, cozy home, abounding with family and friends and involvement and activities that took no more guess-work because we'd been at them so long.

This season though- this one has blown the top off for me- in terms of what I expected, what I hoped for and what I find myself hoping for..

Honestly I think I expected the season of dryness -where we didn't know very many people and, I at least, had very little going on. But honestly-still, I was looking forward to that. We came from a busy-busy life that needed the revamping. I was sure we'd make friends fairly quickly, and we did, but what I didn't realize is how slow it would actually feeeeel.

What feels like forever, and rightfully so, is not the meeting people or the making friends, it's the depth of friendship that takes so long to grow. It is a rarer jewel that needs to be mined. These deep-flowing waters are not a river swooshing by; they are a new deep well that first has to be dug and established before any drawing can be done.

If I ever cherished a deep-rooted friendship before, the thankfulness has been multiplied by a billion. The fact that what was established and natural for so long but was no longer near was a stark realization I was only minimally prepared to face. Where I used to wake up and draw from many wells throughout any given day, I now wake to an empty plain, littered with new faces I've yet to encounter.

Of course there's great opportunity and I can't help but recognize a heap of divine purpose! Ultimately I'm pushed to draw from The Well of God's character and presence. I may have already known not to rely on finite creations to satiate my God-given desire for community, but I didn't always have to walk it out before...

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)

And so here we are...
Constantly going to The Source and kicking up some dirt along the way -asking God to fill this empty space with new, deep, life-giving friendship wells.

Storyline book...

Storyline by Donald Miller.

Second book of the new year!
(Winter track-out time is certainly on my side!)

This one is rocking me in a different, more personal way than Love Does.

It's a workbook and therefore a process that takes time and is best not shortcutted.

I highly recommend it for helping focus dreams, ambitions, and aspirations!

finished wells.

Remember this- Claire's campaign?

Well, here they are. Finished and serving over 300!

Pretty neat that the funds raised not only covered one well, but part of a second in Malawi!

Also pretty sweet to see the plaque honoring sweet Mary! ♥

Love Does.

http://bobgoff.com/lovedoes/

Best book I've read.. Maybe ever.

Love-filled adventures from a kind soul with a heart of gold!

Blogland, Let me know if you need a copy! 
Don't miss this treasure!
♥ ♥

#SheReadsTruth: A Fresh Start

I'm only four days in to January's She Reads Truth's YouVersion devotional (Fresh Start), and it's honestly one of my favorites yet!



If you've yet to jump in, it's never a bad time! Keeping up with the readings barely takes ten minutes per day and is quite simple via the web, the phone app, or daily email delivery.

Sweet soul-nurturing stuff!

....right here.



There's a community of thousands already engaged in the study, but if you're like me and prefer a little face-to-face with a little more familiar crowd, you could always join us on G+! :)

ALSO, there might be a hint of a whisper of a Raleigh meet-up later next month. We'll have to see how it pans out, but this gem of a girl and I might just have something in the works... And I might just be a little excited about it! ♥