Jeremy had lots (and lots!) of drawing to do, and I had a few things I wanted to be still and work on, so I joined him for the afternoon...
(working on my 146 Poems of Love submission I keep talking about)
Once I was finished with my 'work,' I decided to get going....
I wanted to enjoy the nice weather, stroll through campus, and enjoy the walk home (only 1.5 miles) in time to fix supper by the time he stopped for a break.
I'm glad he lets me tag along like that sometimes! It's great to see him in his element, for sure!
Plus, some things just need to be documented, right!? :)
The walk was like therapy.
I love how the Lord works that way with me.
Even with all my stopping and picture taking, it probably only took me 40 minutes, but it felt like weeks worth of ministry to my heart.
(note to self: do this more often!)
I was walking and thinking/praying about my recent job-searches (or lack thereof). It seems as though it was so easy at home because I already knew the community and actually had friends and work people to network with!
But here, starting from scratch, has seemed so hard.
(Thankfully I'm getting good hours and very decent pay at B&N, so it's not that I'm in a hurry or desperate, I just really want to press into what is for me here.)
So as I'm walking and thinking and praying, I just kept asking, What in the world do you have for me here?
I've looked a few places, but I'm not sure where else to try...There are really so many choices, how in the world do I narrow it down?
Then I briefly thought about the Ask / Seek / Knock verse (Matthew 7:7). And the thought that crossed my mind was something like: I don't know what's in store here or which door is the right one, but that doesn't mean I should stop knocking. Surely the more doors I try, the more chance I have of leaning into the right one.
And so after supper, when Jeremy returned to his project, I retreated to our little living room & cozy futon.
I reread Matthew 7 and asked God to help me sort it out a little more...
To ASK we have to use our mouths... our voice... (and since out of the heart -the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45), we actually have to first believe with our hearts that someone is listening!)
To SEEK we have to use our eyes... our vision... (and sometimes, especially if it's dark where we're seeking, we might even need to engage our hands as well).
To KNOCK we have to first use our feet to get to a door, our will to go for it, and our hands to make some noise on that guy. Right??
Sometimes doors fling open and opportunity finds us...
and sometimes they don't...
most-of-the-times we have to walk up and take the risk of knocking!
And since still sometimes
-or they're busy-
-or we have the wrong door-
we must keep going!
Seek some more...
I really didn't want to hear this answer.
The answer I'd already decided on: I did it. I knocked... It was kind of hard & uncomfortable, and even though I have no answer, I did it, and now I'm done... All done.
...not the best response on my part. Kind of lazy of me too.
Life can be so much harder than I feel like it being.
But what joy when we persevere!
What joy when we keep on knocking and someone comes to the door with a smile on their face and a welcome mat for us to walk in on!
We've got to know that's the kind of joy He's got in store for us!! [and when we walk through the hard, murky, and often very uncomfortable to get there, (1)we will appreciate it, and (2)we won't miss it!!! ]
Thank you, Jesus, for your encouragement. And for your hard answers that I don't always want to hear, but know that I need. You are better than I can imagine.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you.... ...Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who [keep on] ask[ing] him! (Matthew 7:7-11)