ihaveadream club

Just a glimpse of some of the beauty from Clubs in the City last Saturday.

Through this I Have A Dream Club, we're asking them to dream big about their own futures, then their neighborhoods and world. They inspire me.♥

Raleigh Easter + Clubs in the City

I love it when two of my favorite worlds collide.

Last year I got to volunteer-photograph Raleigh Easter. This year I got to bring my favorite rowdy bunch of big kids! Good stuff! ♥

and February.

Such a crazy month. more snow. friend time. Clubs time. Fischer turned SEVEN! brother-fam time. and a TA transition as one moved to a new job teaching Kindergarten and a new one moved in.

PreK and the goodness of God

PreK abounds with difficulty and complexity- planning meetings where parents and administrators and transportation services and speech therapists are all present. On top of the pile I have a bit of a language barrier with the parent and very little availability with some staff… BUT our God is Good and Bigger than these little hang-ups. He knows what we need before we ask it. He's big enough and small enough for every little thing that comes our way. «Thank you, Lord, that your yoke is easy and your burden is light. Please help us have this meeting in a timely manner- And, not only that, may we enjoy celebrating the progress this child has made and will continue to make!!»

Spiritual Autism

This thought of spiritual-autism won't leave me alone. As I struggle to work out my faith in the unseen, and doubt my doubt of so many invisible realities, I can't help but wonder- is this anything like what our kiddos with autism experience when the 'fog of autism' keeps them from seeing and hearing and socializing 'normally'?  ---So, I wrote the rest of this around the end of October 2012 when I was a first-year TA in a preK class of students with autism. (I've since become the teacher in that classroom and I've wanted to expound on these thoughts ever since.) Curious if this resonates / makes any sense at all!? ♥


Many days per week I rock this child.

Many days per week he grabs my face and looks me in the eyes.

More often than not, though, he tosses and turns as if he's not being held.

More often than not, he makes no contact with my eyes.

Recently it occurred to me that I'm a lot like this sweet babe...

I'm held and comforted, all needs supplied, yet I cry and moan for what I think I need or I'm unsure I'll get.

I'm guided and engaged throughout the day, yet I'm so fixated on what's before me, what's tangible -myself, my hunger, my wants- that I actually don't notice Your loving care.

Autism is often described by a sort of relational/social 'fog' -These amazing children are so wired that our faces don't often register, our words don't translate, our prodding goes misunderstood...

And yet sometimes these lovelies mimic our tune, look us in the eye, respond to our tactics -and we rejoice!

Every once in a while I feel like I make some spiritual eye-contact and maybe Heaven rejoices!

Sometimes I get quiet, my toys set aside, my heart pounds beyond my control, and my eyes fix on what is unseen. It's a glorious sight. I try to keep its gaze, but I cannot...

November favorites

Obviously keeping up with the blog hasn't been top on the priority list this year- BUT documenting and celebrating the moments is still up there-

So how about a November recap!

Top 13 in no particular order::

1- traveling home to MB for a super-quick Thanksgiving visit. Love car-time with that guy!

2- Making Things Happen Conference on the radar and a prayer in my heart

3- Thanksgiving Day at Grandma Cook's. Traditionally JK picture day. This was our 8th Thanksgiving together.
My my, time does fly! 

4- Braving the crowd at Target with Mom & Kayla Thanksgiving night.

5- Our own little family photo shoot <3

6- Nephew time! They'll be 6 & 1 at the beginning of this year. Such joys!

7- Sparkles, my love, in her favorite spot under the tree. :)

8- Thanksgiving time with cousin Haylee. She's getting so big!

9- Clubs in the City time has been a highlight of the year. Our girls are tough and wild and sweet, and they bless me more than they know!

10- Kayla time. I don't mean to be blatantly partial, but spending time with her makes it for me.
Watching her grow and blossom is the best ever. 

11- Long View Center fundraising. Our church has since closed on the purchase of the Long View Center. In two short months we raised $400,000. It was awe-inspiring. Different groups in the church took on different projects, like making & selling earrings (which accumulated over $2,000 toward the project!). Our group had a $1000 yard sale. I've known some decent yard sales over the years, but this blew me away. There's no question in my mind that Vintage Church loves the city of Raleigh. It was never about a building, but about gaining leverage for better loving the city!

12- Jeremy displaying his work for Mom & Pop <3

13- Missy, the pup. What a crazy, sweet girl! :)

In going through my phone pics from the month, I had so many from school too. As I sit here on the last day of track-out I am reminded and encouraged at the joy I have in working with these little ones. The days are long and consistently hard, but oh-so-worth it. So thankful for another shot at enjoying teaching.♥

Pouter

This child just turned five years old. I spend almost everyday with him as his preschool teacher and I've never seen him pout like this!

At five with special needs, he's learning perseverance.

Two minutes after this photo was taken, he succeeded in his task and received his Cheerios reward! Full on happiness ensued! :)

writing.

this year with clubs in the city, I’m a co-leader with our new communications club. we’re calling it Photography & Writing. perfect.

the best part this week was how they bore their hearts through writing. two of our girls really let loose and journaled what was going on in their hearts and lives. that’s it. that is the whole point.

It was an honor to listen to their precious words about what they fear and how they lean into and rely on God. One shared her heart about being kind to her family and loving even those that are unkind. We didn’t tell her to write that-

we asked-

• who/what defines you? 
• do you listen to what the world says or what God says? 
• how does that overflow to others? 
• will you tear others down or can/will you encourage them to listen to what God says is true about them too?

their sweet, honest responses blew me away and put the challenge back on me. who’s words or labels am I listening to and believing?

how does that affect the way I speak to or encourage others?

May we be reminded we are loved and cherished. we have great purpose and value. we don’t have to be defined by our peers or even ourselves, but we can let the one who made us call us good.

Busy

The busier I get the more I need to lean into rest and trust.

So thankful for these good, hard days. <3

People-pleasing

It's a trap always striving for others' approval.

I'm back to school today and I'm already feeling the stress of making our room and systems just right. I'm wishing I worked more days and nights over track-out and I'm worrying about how I'm perceived by colleges and those who know way more about Structured-Teaching than I do.

But I'm leaning into grace and hard work that I enjoy. I can enjoy it when it's honest and sincere, driven by love and a desire to make an excellent space for my students to learn and grow, so that's where I'll lean- away from people-pleasing & stress, into trust & rest amidst the hard work.

Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling,

with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,

not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers,

but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,

rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man..

-Ephesians 6:5-8

PreK

Seven boys and one girl.

Crazy goodness!

So thankful for this good work! And to have found a teaching-niche I can enjoy! 

Every day is hard and good in so many ways.♥

Clubs in the City

Favorite moments from Saturday at Clubs. ♥

lately...

love it all. so thankful. ♥

dreaming.out.loud...

so much need all around. so.much.need.

kids without parents, people without homes, beggars at stop-lights, and maybe the one that hits my heart the hardest - kids in bad situations - situations of abuse, neglect, and despair...

I know a little guy who lives in a fog.

And I fear it's for the worst reasons.

I don't know, but I fear there's not a lot of good at home. I fear there's not only an absence of good, but very much a presence of bad. Nearing five years old, survival and protection seem to be his most near-the-surface responses to life.

So, apart from this situation, I've been working on praying aloud. (working on it as of yesterday.) Not writing, not letting thoughts bounce around the walls of my mind, but actually speaking - thanking, asking, pouring out my heart. Writing and 'thinking' prayers are more favorable to me, but maybe only because I forgot there's power in our words -especially spoken words, especially truth+love-filled words to a God who is capable and caring. So today I spoke up. I confessed and thanked and poured out my heart and even asked for a few things. One of the things I asked for was intervention for this little guy. And I'll keep asking for wisdom and discernement and opportunities to impact the situation.

my thoughts have been reeling since...
adoption is a thing.
mentoring is a thing.
what about some kind of family-partnering?

What if we adopted whole families? families that are hurting. families with secrets. families with junk that no one knows how to deal with. What if we partnered with, helped, and supported them? What if we treated them like family, or better. What if we really loved them and helped them get the help they need?

Maybe we could shed light on some terrible situations. Maybe it would be overwhelming and scary, but maybe we would find broken people with the capacity to love and change. Maybe we could save a childhood or two.

((I don't have any idea how or actual capacity to make this happen. I'm dreaming, using my words... asking that God in his goodness would guide and help me help others.))

Subbing...

top right: translation:: "I Love Evr'Body" ;)

Subbing is like borrowing twenty-four energizer bunnies for the day.

They're fun and super cute, but if you don't steer them in the right direction, you could be leaving with the world's largest headache!!

Thankfully all my borrowed bunnies were fun and cute and quite steer-able... I'm also particularly fond of kindergarten (mostly because there's usually an adult helper nearby!:)

No-mess Finger Painting

Paint in baggies - taped to the table on all sides...

As seen on Pinterest.
Had to try it with the PreKers.

They liked it pretty well...

One just kept saying "paint paint. I want paint."
 I guess it wasn't messy enough for him this way! :)

School days...

We are glad to be getting back into the groove with our preK kiddos...

We even had our first fire drill... Thankfully we were already loaded up into wagons and walking around the playground path when the alarm went off!! They never knew what happened! :):)

30 Days of Vacay

In year-round multi-track schools, we call it tracked-out.
{alsoknownas: Summer Vacation}

I call it 30 days to play!

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to work with these little ones and see them come so far in one short quarter. And, with that, I'm so thankful for a job that affords vacation time like this! Thirdly, the track I'm on (track 4) also happens to coincide beautifully with Jeremy's school breaks!

Jeremy says God Himself spoils me.
I can't help but agree.

I'm so thankful for this time to travel & play and see family & friends and take pictures & write down stories... I can hardly stand it!

If you're in MB and you want to catch up, give us a shout!
We're thrilled to be here for a stretch!
♥

School favorites...

School days can be long and hard, but everyday we have little breakthroughs and sweet moments that we can't let go uncelebrated.

Challenges and all, my teacher-partner & I thank God every day for these little treasures!

{A few faves from last week: Playing with food, learning our numbers and a little popscicle party thanks to the generous teacher next door...}

♥

Poured out milk and eye contact

When he's done eating and drinking, one of our little guys likes to pour out liquid and watch it splash.

So happy for him.

So sad for us.

(He's three, but autism currently leaves him speechless. Officially working on "all done!")

But today, on the playground I called his name and he looked me right in the eye! -new for this little one who hasn't been responding to his name with so much as a glance in our direction!

Now we finally know he knows we exist!!:)